Don't Wait To Buy Land, Buy Land

You've Got To Be (an) Optimist To Be A Democrat, And You've Got To Be A Humorist To Stay One

Now I Am Not Unpatriotic, And I Want To Do My Bit, So I Hereby Offer My Services To My President, My Country And My Friends To Do Anything, Outside Of Serving On A Commission, That I Can In This Great Movement. But You Will Have To Give Me Some Idea Of Where "confidence" Is. And Just Who You Want It Restored To.

I Don't Make Jokes. I Just Watch The Government And Report The Facts. I'm Not A Member Of Any Organized Political Party, I'm A Democrat! If We Ever Pass Out As A Great Nation We Ought To Put On Our Tombstone 'america Died From A Delusion That She Had Moral Leadership.'

We Had A Great Lunch. Senator Capper Paid For It. The Republican Pays, As Usual. And Everything That The Democrats Are Doin' Now, The Republicans Pay For It. Everybody Asks Me, "will, How Long Is This Going To Go On, Spending All This Money And Everything Going Like This?" I Says, "well, It Will Go On Just As Long As The Republicans Has Got Any Money. That's All I Know About It."

Horses Raise What The Farmer Eats And Eats What The Farmer Raises. You Can't Plow The Ground And Get Gasoline.