Donald Trump Says That He Will Not

Did You Hear About The Dog That Was So High-strung, He Developed A Nervous Tick?

Republicans Are Always Criticizing President Obama For Using The Teleprompter. Is That A Big Deal? After Eight Years Of George Bush, I'm Glad We Have A President That Can Read.

There's All This Talk About Arnold Schwarzenegger. Well, You Know Where He Is Now? Visiting Mexico, Which I Think Means That He Is Definitely Going To Run For Governor. Arnold Is Smart. He's In Mexico Campaigning With The Very People Who'll Be Living Here By Election Time.

U.s. Government Has Said They Are Now Going To Go After The Terrorist's Electronic Banking System. You Know What They Should Do? They Should Transfer Bin Laden's Funds To My Bank. They'd Mess Up His Deposits, Screw Up His Statement And Nickel And Dime Him To Death With Service Charges.

Yesterday, Saddam Hussein Got 100 Percent Of The Vote. Well, That's According To Saddam's Campaign Manager, Jeb Hussein.