Ebola Has Arrived In New York City.

Selling Pot Allowed Me To Get Through College And Make Enough Money To Start Off In Comedy.

New Rule: If You Can Force A Woman To Look At A Sonogram—to See What Will Happen If She Has An Abortion—you Also Have To Let Her See A Crying Baby, A Bratty Five-year-old, And A Surly Teenager To See What Will Happen If She Doesn’t. And You Have To Tell Her It Costs $204,000 To Raise It Until It Turns Eighteen, In 2028, Where It Will Be A Slave To The Chinese, In A Radioactive World With No Animals, Fish, Or Plants.

Can We Go Back To Using Facebook For What It Was Originally For - Looking Up Exes To See How Fat They Got?

To A Coward, Courage Always Looks Like Stupidity.

Suicide Is Man's Way Of Telling God, 'you Can't Fire Me - I Quit.'