Even At Al My Mother's Concerts, I

My Mother Should Have Been Jewish. She Could Have Taught A Class On How To Induce Guilt.

When You're Judy Garland And You Want Something, You Just Pick Up The Phone And Call Somebody. Anybody.

The High Point Of My Entire Junior High School Career Was Going Backstage After The First Concert To Meet The Beatles In Person. I Had A Huge Crush On George Harrison At The Time, Having Inherited My Family's Passion For Skinny Musicians, And I Was Simply Awestruck To Be Meeting The Fab Four In Person.

When My Mother Signed At Mgm, That Was The Only Kind Of Contract You Could Sign. There Was No Such Thing As An Independent Agent.

Fabio Kept Asking Me Out, But I Knew We'd Never Get His Ego Through The Door.