Every Time I Get Tested, I Ask

Cigarettes, I Won't Do Cigarettes, Nicotine Will Kill Ya.

Comedy Is The Ultimate Truth. Jazz Is Hitting The Notes That That No One Else Would Hit, And Comedy Is Saying Words That No One Else Would Say.

People Try To Put Ownership On Things: 'that's Mine, That's My Joke.' No Such Thing. Like If You Tripped Or Stumbled And People Go, 'oh, That's Charlie Chaplin.' You Know What I Mean? You Can't Own A Joke. You Can Be The Guy That Tells It The Best, But You Can't Own A Joke. Nowhere Can You Own A Laugh.

When Mexicans Sneak Across The Border, They're More Apt To Carry A Bag Of Pot Then They Are A Fistful Of Money. Because The Pot Can Be Exchanged For Money, Anywhere In America. Anywhere In The World!

I Never Actually Smoked With Any Of The Presidents.