Every Time I See Dan Quayle I

I'm Learning Cuban. It's Like Spanish, But With Fewer Words For Luxury Items.

I Told My Wife She Looks Sexy With Black Fingernails. Now She Thinks I Slammed The Car Door On Her Hand On Purpose.

One Man's Pet-stained Carpet Is Another Man's Twister Game.

When I Was A Kid My Dad Would Say, "emo, Do You Believe In The Lord?" I'd Say, "yes!" He'd Say, "then Stand Up And Shout Hallelujah!" So I Would ... And I'd Fall Out Of The Roller Coaster.

People Come Up To Me And Say, 'emo, Do People Really Come Up To You?'