Experts Say That If We Go To

According To A New Poll, 50 Percent Of Americans Think The Country Is Divided. The Other 50 Percent Think It Isn't.

President Obama Gave A Big Speech On Climate Change. He Believes Global Warming Is Getting Worse Because Apparently He's Sweating A Lot More During His Second Term

Former Enron Founder Ken Lay And Ceo Jeffrey Skilling Found Guilty In The Enron Case. Ken Lay Is So Guilty I'm Surprised People Aren't Calling Him Congressman Ken Lay. Wait 'till These Guys Find Out In Prison That Insider Trading Has A Whole New Meaning.

President Bush Said It's Now Time For A Change In Iraq And He Wants Them To Have A Western-style Democracy Like Ours. So Right Now In Iraq, The Economy Is Collapsing, Businessmen Are Corrupt, And Hussein Wants His Son To Take Over As President. Sounds Like Mission Accomplished.

Arnold Schwarzenegger Announced That He Is Going To Run For Governor On Our Program Last Night. My Staff Didn't Know, Arnold's Staff Didn't Know, I Was Shocked As Everyone Else. If He Doesn't Get Elected Governor, Maybe He Should Work For The Cia. I Mean, He Can Keep A Secret Better Than They Can.