Fidelity - A Virtue Peculiar To Those

Improvidence, N. Provision For The Needs Of To-day From The Revenues Of To-morrow.

Certain Old Men Prefer To Rise At Dawn, Taking A Cold Bath And A Long Walk With An Empty Stomach And Otherwise Mortifying The Flesh. They Then Point With Pride To These Practices As The Cause Of Their Sturdy Health And Ripe Years; The Truth Being That They Are Hearty And Old, Not Because Of Their Habits, But In Spite Of Them. The Reason We Find Only Robust Persons Doing This Thing Is That It Has Killed All The Others Who Have Tried It.

Entertainment, N. Any Kind Of Amusement Whose Inroads Stop Short Of Death By Injection.

Wit - The Salt With Which The American Humorist Spoils His Intellectual Cookery By Leaving It Out.

Zenith, N. The Point In The Heavens Directly Overhead To A Man Standing Or A Growing Cabbage. A Man In Bed Or A Cabbage In The Pot Is Not Considered As Having A Zenith, Though Horizontalists Hold That The Posture Of The Body Was Immaterial.