First There's The Promise Ring, Then The

People Made A Big Deal Out Of The Fact This Is The First Time A Sitting President Has Done A Late-night Show. We Tried To Have Other Presidents On, But President Bush Went To Bed Every Night At 9:00. And President Clinton Always Seemed To Have Other Late-night Plans.

A New Poll Shows That Americans Now Believe That Bill Clinton Is More Honest Than President Bush. At Least When Clinton Screwed The Nation, He Did It One Person At A Time.

There's A New Osama Bin Laden Video. He's The Only Person That Is Looking Thin During The Holidays. How Does He Do It? I Think He's Going To Jenny Craig.

An Israeli Man's Life Was Saved When He Was Given A Palestinian Man's Heart In A Heart Transplant Operation. The Guy Is Doing Fine, But The Bad News Is, He Can't Stop Throwing Rocks At Himself.

The Report On Climate Change Said That Humans Are Very Likely Making The Planet Warmer. To Which Hillary Clinton Said, 'hey, Can't Blame Me For That One.'