Folks, I Don't Trust Children. They're Here

Naturally The U.s. Trails In Gold Medals Because Every Time We Win One, We Hand It Over To The Chinese To Pay Off Our Debt.

America Used To Live By The Motto "father Knows Best." Now We're Lucky If "father Knows He Has Children." We've Become A Nation Of Sperm Donors And Baby Daddies.

Truthiness Is What You Want The Facts To Be As Opposed To What The Facts Are. What Feels Like The Right Answer As Opposed To What Reality Will Support.

And That Brings Us To Tonight's Word: Truthiness. Now I'm Sure Some Of The Word-police, The 'wordanistas' Over At Websters, Are Gonna Say, 'hey, That's Not A Word!' Well, Anybody Who Knows Me Knows That I Am No Fan Of Dictionaries Or Reference Books. They're Elitist. Constantly Telling Us What Is Or Isn't True, What Did Or Didn't Happen.

If Women Are Breadwinners And Men Bring Home The Bacon, Why Do People Complain About Having No Dough? I'm Confused. Also Hungry.