Folks, I've Been Straight For Seventeen Days...

Aids Is A Horrible Disease, And The People Who Catch It Deserve Compassion.

You Know What The Problem Is With World Hunger? We've Been Sending Them Food.

Real Comedy Doesn't Just Make People Laugh And Think, But Makes Them Laugh And Change.

If I Get Married Again, I Want A Guy There With A Drum To Do Rimshots During The Vows.

I Look For Women I Know Are Gonna Bust Me Up Good. Come On, Man, Who Can Resist That? Who Can Resist That Emotional Pain? Yeah, They All Have The Same Line, They're So Sweet: I'm Not Gonna Hurt You Like All The Others. Really I'm Not. I'm Gonna Introduce You To A Whole New Level Of Pain!