Folks, Tomorrow America Will Get To Hear

They Say That Most Airline Seats On Planes Today Are Meant For 170-pound Passengers. The Last Time The Average American Weighed 170 Pounds, The Wright Brothers Were Flying The Plane.

I Understand The Chairman Of The Senate Ethics Comittee Is Going To Examine The Check-bouncing Scandal With A Microscope. ...makes Sense... If You're Going To Look At Ethics In Congress, A Microscope Is What You Need.

John Kerry Now Getting Slammed By The Republicans Because Of A Botched Joke He Did About President Bush And Iraq In A Recent Speech. Kerry Was Stunned About This. He Said, 'what? People Are Listening To My Speeches?'

Do You Realize That The Bush Administration Has Now Produced More Gay Marriages Than Jobs?

Did You Know That 10% Of All Americans Have Not Had Sex In 5 Years? I Didn't Know There Were So Many Republicans.