For People Considering Suicide, It Is Bullshit.

On Sofia Coppola's 16th Birthday, Way Back In 1987, I Stole A Lip Gloss From Her Sistine Chapel Of A Bedroom. Years Later, I Left A Chanel Lip Gloss In The Reception Of The Mercer Hotel For Her. You Know Why? I Believe That You've Got To Fix Your Karma.

For Years, Despite Having Impeccable Taste, I Didn't Understand How To Convey That I Had Impeccable Taste.

There Are Songs About Abortions, About Slashing Your Arms With Razors, About Imagining Your Own Funeral In New Orleans, About Rock Stars Cheating On Their Wives, Sex.

I've Discreetly Dated A Lot Of People - I Once Dated A Billionaire, Mostly Because It Was Fun To Say, "i'm Dating A Billionaire," But We Did Not Have The Same Taste In Music, And It Was Doomed.

You’ve Got To Be Prepared For The Names They Are Going To Call You Compared To Your Male Peers… You Will Be A Floozy And A Slattern. He Will Be Virile And A Ladies’ Man. You Will Be A Freakshow, A Retching Wretch, A Sloppy Drunk. He Will Be Charismatic, Vainglorious, A Ferocious Drunk And Dionysian. You Will Be Indiscriminate And Desperate. He Will Be Generous, Tortured And Driven.