For People Who Like Peace And Quiet:

Some [soccer] Players Suffer Four Or Five Fatal Injuries Per Game. That's How Tough They Are.

The Problem With Winter Sports Is That - Follow Me Closely Here - They Generally Take Place In Winter.

Childbirth, As A Strictly Physical Phenomenon, Is Comparable To Driving A United Parcel Truck Through An Inner Tube.

Ram: This Gives Guys A Way Of Deciding Whose Computer Has The Biggest, Studliest Memory. That's Important, Because The More Memory A Computer Has, The Faster It Can Produce Error Messages.

I Recently Had My Annual Physical Examination, Which I Get Once Every Seven Years, And When The Nurse Weighed Me, I Was Shocked To Discover How Much Stronger The Earth's Gravitational Pull Has Become Since 1990.