For Sale. Baby Shoes. Never Worn.

I Am Drunk, Seest Thou? When I Am Not Drunk I Do Not Talk. You Have Never Heard Me Talk Much. But An Intelligent Man Is Sometimes Forced To Be Drunk To Spend His Time With Fools.

No Tears In The Writer, No Tears In The Reader.

You Write A Book Like That You're Fond Of Over The Years, Then You See That Happen To It, It's Like Pissing In Your Father's Beer.

To Invent Out Of Knowledge Means To Produce Inventions That Are True. Every Man Should Have A Built-in Automatic Crap Detector Operating Inside Him. It Also Should Have A Manual Drill And A Crank Handle In Case The Machine Breaks Down. If You're Going To Write, You Have To Find Out What's Bad For You. Part Of That You Learn Fast, And Then You Learn What's Good For You.

I Decided To Stop Drinking With Creeps. I Decided To Drink Only With Friends. I've Lost 30 Pounds.