For The Love Of God, Folks, Don't

Mitt Romney Said He's Not Concerned About The Very Poor. What He Means Is People Making Less Than A Million.

John Kerry Says That Foreign Leaders Want Him To Be President, But That He Can't Name The Foreign Leaders. That's All Right, President Bush Can't Name Them Either.

The Creepy Stuff Was That I Have Had Sex With Women Who Worked For Me On This Show. Now, My Response To That Is Yes I Have. I Have Had Sex With Women Who Worked On This Show. Would It Be Embarrassing If It Were Made Public? Perhaps It Would, Especially For The Women.

Public Service Announcement: In Case Of A Terrorist Attack, Bottled Water And Duct Tape Are Not Going To Do A Damn Thing. So Do What Homeland Security Dir. Tom Ridge Does: Get Really Drunk, And Pick Up A Hooker.

George W. Bush Has A New Campaign Slogan: "a Reformer With Results." I Don't Know What It Means [but] I Think It's Better Than His Old Campaign Slogan: "a Dumb Guy With Connections.