Gags Die, Humor Doesn't.

I Feel Responsible For Johnny Ray's Success. See Many Years Ago I Asked Him To Be On My Show And He Asked For A Lot Of Money And I Cried. And He Stole That From Me.

I Gambled At The Crap Table All Night And Finally Lost $8, But During That Time The House Gave Me Four Drinks And Two Cigars, So It Was Still A Lot Cheaper Than Renting A Room.

Bill Paley Is Not Only The Greatest Boss I Ever Had, But He's The Most Brilliant, Honest And Warm Human Being I've Ever Met. And I'll Say That To His Face - Even If It Costs Me My Job.

Age Is Something That Doesn't Matter, Unless You Are A Cheese. Age Is Strictly A Case Of Mind Over Matter. If You Don't Mind, It Doesn't Matter.

I Don't Want To Tell You How Much Insurance I Carry With The Prudential, But All I Can Say Is: When I Go, They Go Too.