Go See Old Virgins! Now Ask A

Sometimes I Even Felt Like He Dated Me As Part Of His Plan, Like They Were Going To Have A Checklist On The Application, And One Of The Things To Tick Off Was Going To Be, "do You Have A Reasonably Intelligent Girlfriend Who Shares Your Aspirations, And Who Is Fully Prepared To Accept Your Limited Availability?

I Still Have A Whopping Bad Case Of What You Call Scag Magnetism. I Thought I Had Gotten Rid Of It There, But It Looks Like Scary Guys Still Materialize From Thin Air In My Presence. They Are Drawn To Me. I Am The North Pole, And They Are The Explorers Of Love.

This Wasn't A Position She Wanted To Be In. And Yet . . . Yet She Knew That She Was Going To Do It Anyway.

The English Play Hockey In Any Weather. Thunder, Lightning, Plague Of Locusts... Nothing Can Stop The Hockey. Do Not Fight The Hockey, For The Hockey Will Win.

I Envisioned Huge Piles Of The Elf Hotel Flying Off The Belt, Taking Down Everybody In Sight. I Had Seen Pictures Of That Elf Hotel - It Had Sharp Candy-cane Spires That Could Easily Impale Someone. If Anyone Was Ever Going To Be Killed By An Elf Hotel, It Would Be My Parents.