Good Kids Are Like Sunsets. We Take

Thanksgiving Dinners Take Eighteen Hours To Prepare. They Are Consumed In Twelve Minutes. Half-times Take Twelve Minutes. This Is Not Coincidence.

I Have Just Come Up With A Wonderful Solution To End All Wars. Let Me Give Directions On How To Get There.

Never Be In A Hurry To Terminate A Marriage. Remember, You May Need This Man/woman To Finish A Sentence.

Early In My Life I Had Made A Pact With Myself. I Would Never Eat Anything That Moved When I Cooked It, Excited The Dog, Or Inflated Upon Impact With My Teeth.

The Family. We Are A Strange Little Band Of Characters Trudging Through Life Sharing Diseases And Toothpaste, Coveting One Another's Desserts, Hiding Shampoo, Borrowing Money, Locking Each Other Out Of Our Rooms. . . And Trying To Figure Out The Common Thread That Bound Us All Together.