Half The Battle Is That People Have

When I Got Out Of High School, I Wanted To Be An Actor But Was Getting A Lot Of Rejections. I Was Getting Rejected By Life. My Mother, God Rest Her Soul, Told Me Not To Quit.

I Don't Care If The Average Guy On The Street Really Knows What I'm Like, As Long As He Knows I'm Not Really A Mean, Vicious Guy. My Friends And Family Know What I'm Really Like. That's What's Important.

People Think Being In Your Seventies Means Sitting Around In A Chair With A Blanket Over Your Legs, Drooling.

I Always Enjoy Being Full Of Fun, But I Have My Serious Moments. Some Women Go For The Studious Kind Of Guy, I Certainly Was Not That. If A Girl Is Looking For Somebody Different And Maybe A Little More Exciting For Themselves - Someone More On The Fun Side, I Would Suggest That They Look For A Type Like Don Rickles.

No Matter Where You Go In This World, You Will Always Find A Jew Sitting In The Beach Chair Next To You.