Happiness Is A Privilege.

According To Government Auditors, The Stimulus Money Is Being Held Up Because There Aren't Enough Government Workers To Oversee The Spending. So Follow Me, In Other Words, Government Workers Who Aren't There Are Needed To Spend Money We Don't Have To Create Jobs That Don't Exist.

President Bush Spent The Day Calling Names He Couldn't Pronounce In Countries He Never Knew Existed.

Researchers In England Say Tall Men Are More Likely To Have More Children Than Short Men. Here In America We Call That The Nba Theory.

With The Presidential Debates Right Around The Corner, John Kerry Is Going To Play Mitt Romney To Help The President Prepare For The Debates. That's Kind Of A Stretch; A Rich White Guy From Massachusetts Playing A Rich White Guy From Massachusetts.

Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton Is Now Facing A Kind Of Personal Dilemma. She Can't Decide Whether To Drop The Name Clinton From Her Name, Or Drop The Name Rodham. They Can't Figure Out Which One Is More Embarrassing.