Having A Beard Is A Good Way

Checkers Taught Me That A King Is A Man With Another Man On Top Of Him. But Life Taught Me That That's Actually Called A Queen.

For Example, I Was A White House Intern The Summer Before I Dropped Out Of Law School. Everybody Knew About It. I'd Come Home And Go To Church And Everybody Would Say, Oh, My God. Demetri, You're Working At The White House.

I Never Went Bungee Jumping. The Closest I Did Was I Was Born.

I Don't Have To Kill Myself, Time Is Going To Do That.

I Like Birthdays. Every Time Someone Is Born, That's Just Like Bringing More Cake Into The World.