He Could't Have Survied A Hundred Foot

It Was Beautiful In A Harsh I'm-going-to-gut-you-like-a-fish Kind Of Way.

I Never Thought I'd Get To See Rome," Hazel Said. "when I Was Alive, I Mean For The First Time, Mussolini Was In Charge. We Were At War." "mussolini?" Leo Frowned. "wasn't He Like Bff's With Hitler?" Hazel Stared At Him Like He Was An Alien. "bff's?" "never Mind." "i'd Love To See The Trevi Fountain," She Said. "there's A Fountain On Every Block," Leo Grumbled. "or The Spanish Steps," Hazel Said. "why Would You Come To Italy To See Spanosh Steps?" Leo Asked. "that's Like Going To China For Mexican Food, Isn't It?" "you're Hopeless," Hazel Complained. "so I've Been Told.

Eat Bitter, Taste Sweet

A Guy In Greek Armor Drew His Sword And Charged, But Slipped In A Puddle Of Pina Colada.

I Blinked The Sleep Out Of My Eyes And Realized My Head Was In Khufu’s Lap. The Baboon Was Foraging My Scalp For Munchies. “dude.” I Sat Up Groggily. “not Cool.” “but He Gave You A Lovely Hairdo,” Sadie Said. “agh-agh!” Khufu Agreed.