He Does Have That Weird Mixture Of

I've Had This Look For About A Year. I Usually Grow This Beard Out Around Christmas. I Like To Go To Malls Dressed As Jesus, And I Like To Then Walk Around The Mall And Go, 'no! No! This Wasn't What It Was Supposed To Be About, People!' Then If There's A Santa At The Mall, I Walk Up To Him And Say, 'listen, Fat Man, You're Just A Clown At My Birthday Party.'

Everyone Is A Little Bitter. We're Born Bitter. The Personality Itself Is Really Just A Very Complex Defense Mechanism. A Reaction To The First Time Someone Said, "no You Can't.

Most Of The Comics That I Talk To I've Never Talked To For More Than Ten Minutes Ever. So 95 Percent Of The Time You're Really Hearing The First Conversation Between Me And That Guy On The Podcast.

There Was A Period When I Was Getting A Lot Of Banana Bread, Because I Mentioned Someone Cooked Me Banana Bread, And Then Everyone Cooked Me Baked Stuff, And I Would Take It To The Hotel, And It Was Making Me Fat.

Jerusalem Syndrome Is Actually A Rare Psychological Condition That Occurs To Some Visitors To The Middle East. They Get To Israel And Just Snap.