He's At The Chocolate Teapot End Of

I've Committed To Nothing...and That's Just Suicide...by Tiny, Tiny Increments.

Radio Football Is Football Reduced To Its Lowest Common Denominator.

There's No Doubt That He's The Biggest Sports Star In The World Now. (on David Beckham)

The Chief Attraction Of The Opposite Sex For All Of Us, Old And Young, Men And Women: We Need Someone To Save Us From The Sympathetic Smiles In The Sunday-night Cinema Queue, Someone Who Can Stop Us From Falling Down Into The Pit Where The Permanently Single Live With Their Mums And Dads.

Phone Calls Like Ours Only Happen When You've Spent Several Years Hurting And Being Hurt, Until Every Work You Utter Or Hear Becomes Coded And Loaded, As Complicated And Full Of Subtext As A Bleak And Brilliant Play.