He Was Born Early. But He Was

Just Because A Baby Cries, I Discovered, Doesn't Mean There's Always Something Wrong. Sometimes Babies Wake Up For No Real Reason. They Just Want To Check If They're Doing It Right. "this Is Sleeping, Right?" "exactly." "i Just Lie Here?" "that's Right." "okay." Then Back To Sleep They Go.

A Friend Told Me To Listen To My Heart. Another Friend Told Me To Listen To My Gut. Maybe I Need An Autopsy, Because Right Now My Colon Is Kind Of Iffy.

Three Has Always Been Tougher Than Two. Think Of Any Of Your Famous Threesomes. The Three Stooges? Look At The Anger There. My Bet Is That Before Curly Was Born, Moe And Larry Could Play Together For Hours Without Even A Single Poke In The Eye. Huey, Dewey, And Louie? Donald Duck Never Had A Moment's Peace. The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly? I Rest My Case.

In Some Cultures They Don't Name Their Babies Right Away. They Wait Until They See How The Child Develops. Like In Dances With Wolves. Unfortunately, Our Kids' Names Would Be Less Romantic And Poetic. "this Is My Oldest Boy, Falls Off His Tricycle, His Friend, Dribbles His Juice, And My Beautiful Daughter, Allergic To Nuts.

New Parents Always Sound Like Hucksters In A Pyramid Scheme. Anyone Who Has Kids And Then Gets You To Go And Have Kids Gets A Check From Huckster Headquarters.