Here's How You Know That You're Really

I Had Never Done A Roast, But I Really Wanted To, Because It's So Different From Standup.

Here's The Thing About Red Sox Fans, Or Actually Just Fans From That Region, In General: They Appreciate The Effort. And If You Mail It In Or If You Give 80 Percent, Even With A Win, They'll Let You Know That's Not How You Do It. They Want - If It's Comedian, If It's A Musician, Bring Us Your Best Show.

I Am Going To Name A Group Of My Kids After My Favorite Cartoons, I Am Going To Name Them After Transformers.

I Won't Take No For A Question.

I'm Watching Some Television Tonight. I'm Watching The Discovery Channel. You Know, This Channel, You Never Ever Plan On Watching This. It Just Happens. You're Flickin' Around, All Of A Sudden - Boom - You're Watching A Mole For An Hour-and-a-half.