Honesty Is Nothin' Compared To Decency.

While I Have The Utmost Respect For People Who Practice The Christian Faith, The Fact Is, As Everyone Knows, I Am As Jewish As A Matzo Ball Or Kosher Salami.

I Am Excited About Getting Back To What I Do Best And What My Audience Likes Best, I Am Writing New Jokes Every Day And Soon Ill Be Telling Them Every Night. Just Me, One Jew Talking And That's It.

Did You Hear About The Accountant Who Became Am Embezzler? He Ran Away With The Accounts Payable!

The Main Problem With The Democrats Is Their Utter Negativity. They're Made Up Of Schumucks And Hypocrites. They Also Have Higher Levels Of Immorality.

My Father Was A Very Successful Businessman, But He Was Ruined In The Stock Market Crash. A Big Stockbroker Jumped Out The Window And Fell On His Pushcart.