Horse Racing Is Waning In Popularity.

I Have No Complaints About Losing Money I Put In High-risk Investments. I Did Some Of That When I Had Real Money; My Informed Choice, My Measured Gamble.

I Have Six Locks On My Door All In A Row. When I Go Out, I Lock Every Other One. I Figure No Matter How Long Somebody Stands There Picking The Locks, They Are Always Locking Three.

Have You Noticed That If You Leave The Laundry In The Hamper Long Enough, It's Ready To Wear Again?

It Doesn't Bother Me That I'm Not A Household Word On The East Coast. Baton Rouge, Raleigh, Minneapolis - I'm So Popular In These Cities Where You've Never Imagined An East Coast Comedian Working.

I Can Tell By Your Eye Shadow, You're From Brooklyn, Right? . . . Me Too. My Mother Has Plastic Covers On All The Furniture. Even The Poodle. Looked Like A Barking Hassock Walking Down The Street.