How Is It Possible That Courtney Love

Comedians A Lot Of Times We're On The Road, We're By Our Self. We Come Home To New York To Our Empty One-bedroom Apartment, You Know, And We Need A Place To Go Where You See A Bunch Of Other Miserable People Sit Around And Eat A Corned Beef Sandwich.

It Really Bothers Me When Some People Say That All Cops Are Racist. Of Course That's Not True. Most Of You Are Just [expletive] To Everybody.

Comics Just Don't Retire. They Either Die Young Or They Go To 100.

I Want The Roast To Be Like A Party Where Everybody Goes And Has A Good Time.

My Own Personal Rule Is To Tell Jokes That I Think The Person I'm Making Them About Can Laugh At, To Go Home And Tell Their Family, Oh, My Gosh.