Howard Dean Dropped Out Of The Race

Inauguration Security Was Tighter Than Kirstie Alley In A Pair Of Spandex Pants.

When Clinton Said He Was Going To Create 8 Million New Jobs, I Didn't Think They Were All Going To Be Tax Collectors.

So, The Phoenix Suns Are Wearing Jerseys Written In Spanish, Made In China, Modeled After Their Best Player, Canadian Steve Nash. There You Go. That Is America.

Vice President Cheney Is Also On Vacation. He's In Jackson Hole, Wyoming. What Better Place For A Guy Who Has Had 4 Heart Attacks Than A Place With Thin Air, Rugged Hiking And All-beef Dinners? Why Don't They Get Some Snow For Him To Shovel While He's Out There, Too?

Oliver North Says He Is Very Upset That John Walker Could Come Back To This Country And Cash In On His Celebrity Status. He Hates To See Someone Who Did Something Wrong Get Rewarded By Writing A Book Or Getting A Tv Show Out Of It.