Husband: A Man Who Buys His Football

Men Do Not Like To Admit To Even Momentary Imperfection. My Husband Forgot The Code To Turn Off The Alarm. When The Police Came, He Wouldn't Admit He'd Forgotten The Code... He Turned Himself In.

I Want To Have Children, But My Friends Scare Me. One Of My Friends Told Me She Was In Labor For 36 Hours. I Don't Even Want To Do Anything That Feels Good For 36 Hours.

I Get A Lot Of Return Business. I Think It's All Those Years I Put In Traveling Around The Country; People Saw Me Before And Had A Good Time So They Want To See Me Again.

Most Women Are Introspective: "am I In Love? Am I Emotionally And Creatively Fulfilled?" Most Men Are Outrospective: "did My Team Win? How's My Car?"

You Know The Oxygen Masks On Airplanes? I Don't Think There's Really Any Oxygen. I Think They're Just To Muffle The Screams.