I Ain't Shootin' Nobody. So Call Me

Stand-up Comedy Is Like The Lowest Medium In All Of Show Business In Levels Of Respect.

You Don't Pay Taxes; They Take Them From Your Check. That's Not A Payment - That's A 'jack.

I Ain't Shootin' Nobody. So Call Me A Faggot! When The War's Over, I'll Be The Faggot With Two Legs, Thank You!

A Comedy Club Is A Place Where You Work Out Material, You're Trying Material.

Every Man Has To Settle Down Eventually. You Know Why You Gotta Settle Down Eventually? Because You Don't Want To Be The Old Guy In The Club. You Know What I'm Talking About. Every Club You Go Into, There's Always Some Old Guy. He Ain't Really Old, Just A Little Too Old To Be In The Club.