I Am A Saxophone Player.

I'm Opposed To A Lot Of The Time That We As A Civilization Have Come To Spend Looking At Screens. For My Money, Life Is Much Delicious Damn Near Everyplace But Inside That Screen.

People Keep Referring To Me As A Standup, And That Just Doesn't Sit Well With Me Because A Lot Of My Friends Are Standups And They're Brilliant At Writing Jokes, And I'm Not.

I Worked A Lot In Chicago's Theater Scene As A Fight Choreographer. And So I Do Have A Lot Of Experience In Stage Combat And Also In Kabuki Dance And Kabuki Theater.

A Lot Of People Find Themselves In The Entertainment Business - Or Perhaps Society Steers Them Toward It - Because They're Beautiful.

Turn Off Your Computer And Go Out Of Doors. Dig A Large Enough Hole To Transplant A Mature Apple Tree. Nurture The Tree, Feed It, Coddle It So That Its Fruit Will Be Ample, Bright And Firm. Practice Open-hand Strikes Against The Rough Bark Of The Trunk Until It's Time To Harvest. Choose The Champion Of Your Apple Crop, Pluck It From The Tree, And Beat Yourself About The Face And Tits With It Until Your Mettle Will Suffice.