I Am A Tender-hearted Person, And I

You Don't See Too Many Atheists On The Deathbed. They All Start Cramming Then.

I Met My Husband Before I Became A Star, And He Doesn't Care About Any Of It.

I Do Have Big Tits. Always Had 'em - Pushed 'em Up, Whacked 'em Around. Why Not Make Fun Of 'em? I've Made A Fortune With 'em.

Now Momma's Done Away With The Old Black Kettle She Used To Cook In When I Was Just Littleand The Door Ain't Sprung On Her Electric Rangethat Little Old Farm And Home We Had It Ain't There No More And That's Too Badfolks Are Doing Away With The Simple Things.

I Make Jokes About It, But It's The Truth That I Kind Of Patterned My Look After The Town Tramp. I Didn't Know What She Was, Just This Woman Who Was Blond And Piled Her Hair Up, Wore High Heels And Tight Skirts, And, Boy, She Was The Prettiest Thing I'd Ever Seen. Momma Used To Say, "aw, She's Just Trash," And I Thought, That's What I Want To Be When I Grow Up. Trash.