I Am Billed As A Humorist, But

[footnote:]each Male Has From 2 To 790 Females With Whom He Discusses Current Events. Of These He Marries From 3 To 17.

The Stork Is Voiceless Because There Is Really Nothing To Say.

I Borrow To Pay My Honest Debts And Not To Squander Foolishly. What's More, I Confine My Borrowing To Those Who Can Well Afford It. I Don't Go Around Sponging On Widows And Orphans Unless They Have Plenty.

Just When You're Beginning To Think Pretty Well Of People, You Run Across Somebody Who Puts Sugar On Sliced Tomatoes.

[footnote:] The Dotterel Weighs Only Four Ounces. It Has Long Been A Scientific Riddle How So Much Wrong-headedness Can Manage To Exist In So Small A Space. Still, There's The Least Gnatcatcher.