I Am Not Beautiful, So I Don't

I'm A Personality - Like A George Plimpton Who Effectively Plays Himself In A Bunch Of Different Roles, Or A Paul Lynde-type Character.

Everything We Make In Life, Eventually, Is Sold For A Dollar Or A Penny Or Given Away.

I Don't Care If I Tell That Story And John Roderick Gets Up Afterward And Yells, 'i Hope You Enjoyed The White Privilege, Mortality Comedy Of John Hodgman!' That's Me!" I'm Going To Play A Sad Handsome Family Song At The End And I Guarantee You Everyone Is Going To Love It Because, Sometimes, You Need A Grown Man Or Woman To Tell You What You Like.

People Who Run For President Seriously And People Who Become President Enter A Bizarre Secret Society In Which They Have Had An Experience That None Of Us Will Ever Have.

I Know Nothing About Letting Go.