I Am Speechless: I Have No Speech

The Worst Thing About Television Is That Everybody You See On Television Is Doing Something Better Than What You're Doing. You Never See Anybody On Tv Just Sliding Off The Front Of The Sofa, With Potato Chip Crumbs All Over Their Shirt.

Wise Is What You Want To Be. Smart Is Easy Compared To Wise.

I Love Advertising Because I Love Lying. I Think Spending Your Life Trying To Dupe Innocent People Out Of Hard-won Earnings To Buy Useless, Low-quality, Misrepresented Items And Services Is An Excellent Use Of Your Energy.

I Do Not Know Why Anyone Would Host An Awards Show. No Matter How Unbelievably Well You Do At It, The Only Thing That Can Happen Is You Get Asked Again To Host An Awards Show.

I See Tv Ads About Detergents That Can Get Blood Stains Out Of Your Cloths. I Say If You Have Blood Stains On Your Cloths You Should Be Thinking About Something Other Than Laundry.