I Avoided Reality For Most Of My

The One Who Cares The Most Wins. ... That's How I Knew I'd End Up With Everyone Else Waving The White Flags And Not Me. That's How I Knew I'd Be The Last Person Standing When It Was All Over. ... I Cared The Most.

This Bugs Me The Worst. That's When The Husband Thinks That The Wife Knows Where Everything Is, Huh? Like They Think The Uterus Is A Tracking Device. He Comes In: "hey, Roseanne! Roseanne! Do We Have Any Cheetos Left?" Like He Can't Go Over And Lift Up The Sofa Cushion Himself.

Imitation Is The Sincerest Form Of Show Business.

You Know, I'm Blessed. 'blessed' Is A Better Way Of Saying 'rich.'

There's Nothing Like A Hardship Song To Set My Toes A-tappin.