I Believe Engineers Will Save The World.

Inauguration Security Was Tighter Than Kirstie Alley In A Pair Of Spandex Pants.

They Say Hot Dogs Can Kill You. How Do You Know It's Not The Bun?

The Other Day The Plane That Barack Obama Was On Had Some Mechanical Difficulties And Was Forced To Land. Well, The National Transportation Safety Board Did An Inspection On The Plane, And You Know What They Found? The Bolts On The Plane Were Fine, But Apparently Jesse Jackson Had Taken Some Of The Nuts Off.

Here's The Latest From The Pentagon -- The Generals Are Worried That The White House Is Spreading Itself Thin By Trying To Fight A War On Two Fronts; Afghanistan And Fox News.

Jack Abramoff Is Going To Testify Against Some Of The Other Weasels In Congress. A Lobbyist Testifying Against Congressmen? How Many Bibles Are Going To Burst Into Flames In That Courtroom?