I Believe In God, I Just Give

The President Is Not Doing Well With African Americans. His Popularity Rating - His Approval Rating - With Blacks: Two Percent. Two Percent. That Is Somewhere Between Mark Fuhrman And Sickle Cell Anemia.

No Politician Is Perfect. But In Every Election In Your Life, There Will Be One Choice That Is Better Than The Others. Go Out And Vote For That One.

I Love Jesus. I Just Don't Like The Christians Who Don't Believe In What He Says.

To All Conservative Women Out There: If You Are So Sure The Embryo Needed For Stem Cell Research Are Precious Human Life That Can't Be Destroyed, Then Implant One In Your Uterus And Bring It To Term. That's Right, Put Your Cervix Where Your Mouth Is.

One Of The Reasons I Still Do Stand-up Is Because It Was So Hard In The Beginning That I Feel Like It Would Be Such A Shame Not To Redeem It That It's All Fun.