I Believe You Got My Property?

There's Math, And Everything Else Is Debatable!

I'm Pretty Good At Getting Over People Throwing Stuff At Me. If You've Been Doing Stand Up Long Enough You Know How To Swing Back And Get The Laughs.

Whoever You Hate Will End Up In Your Family. You Don't Like Gays? You're Gonna Have A Gay Son. You Don't Like Puerto Ricans? Your Daughter's Gonna Come Home With Livin' La Vida Loca!

Gun Control? We Need Bullet Control! I Think Every Bullet Should Cost 5,000 Dollars. Because If A Bullet Cost Five Thousand Dollar, We Wouldn't Have Any Innocent Bystanders.

Women Can Have All The Evidence But They Still Want The Confession.