I Bought A New Pair Of Pajamas

Overheard Today In Restaurant: Can You Stop Listening To Our Conversation?

If I Had A Bookstore I Would Make All The Mystery Novels Hard To Find.

Whenever I'm On My Computer, I Don't Type 'lol'. I Type 'lqtm' - Laugh Quietly To Myself. It's More Honest.

When You're Wearing An Animal Costume And Something Bad Happens, Your Facial Expression Doesn't Change. The Animal Is Deadpan The Whole Time. If You're Skiing In A Gorilla Suit And You Fall, You Just See A Gorilla Who Has No Emotion. It's Just A Stoic Gorilla, Wildly Falling Down A Hill, Out Of Control.

I Like Video Games, But They Are Very Violent. I Want To Create A Video Game In Which You Have To Help All The Characters Who Have Died In The Other Games. 'hey, Man, What Are You Playing?' 'super Busy Hospital. Could You Leave Me Alone? I'm Performing Surgery! This Guy Got Shot In The Head, Like, 27 Times!'