I Can Read Minds, But I'm Illiterate.

I Got My Hair Highlighted Because I Felt Some Strands Were More Important Than Others.

That Would Be Cool If The Earth's Crust Was Made Out Of Graham Cracker. It Would Disappear Just Like The Ozone Layer, But For Completely Different Reasons.

It's Hard To Fight When You're In A Gazebo.

I Have An Idea For Sweatshops: Air Conditioning! That's Simple. 14 Year Old Boys Working Twelve Hour Days? "yeah, But They're Comfortable!"

My Roommate Says, "i'm Going To Take A Shower And Shave. Does Anyone Need To Use The Bathroom?" It's Like Some Weird Quiz Where He Reveals The Answer First.