I Can't Not Put Humor In A

'drive' Came To Me Because The Casting Director Knew My Manager And Called And Said, 'you've Always Talked To Me About Albert Wanting To Play The Heavy. I Think He Should Read This.' My Ears Just Perked Up.

I Got So Good At Writing To A Budget, My Brain Was Restricting Myself. I'd Write, "it's A Stormy Night." Then I'd Cross Out Stormy. I'd Write: "it's A Calm Night." Then I'd Cross Out Night. It's Noon. Because You Know How Much Night Costs. You Know How Much Rain Costs. Nothing Comes Free In Movies.

When I Die, If The Word 'thong' Appears In The First Or Second Sentence Of My Obituary, I've Screwed Up.

Twitter Is The Devil's Playground.

Most Entertainment Is Trying To Get You. It's Tested, Like Toothpaste.