I Can't Not Put Humor In A

Being A Screenwriter In Hollywood Is Like Being A Eunuch At An Orgy. Worse, Actually, At Least The Eunuch Is Allowed To Watch.

What Do You Think The Devil Is Going To Look Like If He's Around? Nobody Is Going To Be Taken In If He Has A Long, Red, Pointy Tail. No. I'm Semi-serious Here. He Will Look Attractive And He Will Be Nice And Helpful And He Will Get A Job Where He Influences A Great God-fearing Nation And He Will Never Do An Evil Thing... He Will Just Bit By Little Bit Lower Standards Where They Are Important. Just Coax Along Flash Over Substance... Just A Tiny Bit. And He Will Talk About All Of Us Really Being Salesmen. And He'll Get All The Great Women.

Well, You Know, With Every Character, If You're Going To Expose Yourself, You've Got To Figure Out Every Detail That You're Going To Play. So There's No Character That You Can Just Go Put On His Shirt And Be Fully Prepared.

Regrets Are Stupid; They Don't Mean Anything And They Don't Add Up To Anything.

I've Been To Many Funerals Of Funny People, And They're Some Of The Funniest Days You'll Ever Have, Because The Emotions Run High.