I Can't Prove It, But I Can

Throughout Human History, Countries Rise And Fall. But Not America-we Continue To Rise And Rise, Like Dough, Until Jesus Bakes Us In The Fiery Afterscape Of The Rapture.

Science Attacks Our Most Cherished Opinions. Opinions Which Come Straight From Our Collective Gut. Oh, Wait, According To Gastroenterologists, The Only Thing That Comes From The Gut Is Waste Left From The Digestion Of Food. That’s Right, “waste.” I Guess That Means That Scientists Literally Think Our Opinions Should Be Flushed Down The Toilet!

Thirty Seconds Is The Exact Amount Of Time Americans Can Tolerate Something They Don't Understand.

Summer Movie Idea: Take All The Sequels That Are Out Right Now, And Make Movies About Their Backstories.

Now You'll Have To Wait For Hours In Line For Medical Care Instead Of Immediately Not Getting Any.