I Can't Tell A Joke To Save

It's Almost Impossible To Be Funnier Than The People In Washington.

I Always Had A Weak Chin Because We Couldn't Afford To Correct My Bite, Which Could Have Been Corrected With Braces. So The Chin Was Always Weak. And I Always Was - Kind Of Hated My Profile. And I Thought Wouldn't It Be Nice Someday To Feel The Rain On Your Chin Without Having To Look Up.

If You Want To Know The Feeling [of Labor Pain], Just Take Your Bottom Lip And Pull It Over Your Head.

What I Do When I Write Is I Just Write The Way I Would Tell It, So It Comes Out Just Exactly The Way I Would Talk To You.

I Can't Tell A Joke To Save My Soul. It's Just Not My Thing, Though I Love To Listen To Jokes.