If You Have To Say “no Offense”

I Didn't Even Think About Suggesting He Take The Boots Off. There'd Probably Be A Apocalypse Or Something.

No. The Answer Was No, I Was Not All Right. I Nearly Got Knocked Out. Knocked Out By Desire! Desire For Forbidden Dissimilar Molecules

How To Be The Best That You Can Be

I've Come To The Conclusion That, Aside From Nazis, The Taliban, And Possibly The Honey Badger, There Is No One On The Planet More Merciless Than A Teenage Girl Once She's Decided She Dislikes You.

This Was Very Exciting. I'd Never Had Two Boys Get Into A Fight Over Me Before. The Fact That One Of The Boys Was My Stepbrother, However, And Held About As Much Romantic Appeal For Me As Max, The Family Dog, Somewhat Dampened My Enthusiasm. And Michael Wasn't Much Of A Catch, Either, When You Actually Thought About It, Being A Potential Murderer And All. Oh, Why Did I Have To Have Such A Couple Of Losers Fighting Over Me? Why Couldn't Matt Damon And Ben Affleck Fight Over Me? Now That Would Be Truly Excellent.