I'd Like A Nice Piece Of Salmon

I Never Went To Camp As A Kid. I Couldn't Get Into An Ivy League School. I Wouldn't Join A Biker Club.

Behind Every Great Man In Prison Is Another Great Man In Prison.

My Favorite Procrastination Is To Make The Choice To Have Valuable Times With Human Beings That I Care About Instead Of Holing Myself Up Alone To Get My Work Done.

When Someone You Love Is Hurting, If It Was Possible, You'd Want To Take Their Pain For Them. But Do I Really Want Cramps And Sore Boobs?

I Think Comedy Is On An Organic Upsurge Right Now Because When I Started, It Was 1978 At The Comedy Store And Letterman Had Just Stopped Emceeing His Morning Show.