I'd Much Rather Sit Next To A

Life Is A Sexually Transmitted Terminal Disease.

You Call To A Dog And A Dog Will Break Its Neck To Get To You. Dogs Just Want To Please. Call To A Cat And Its Attitude Is, 'what's In It For Me?'

The Idiot Who Invented Instant Grits Also Thought Of Frozen Fried Chicken, And They Ought To Lock Him Up Before He Tries To Freeze-dry Collards.

The Only Way That I Could Figure They Could Improve Upon Coca-cola, One Of Life's Most Delightful Elixirs, Which Studies Prove Will Heal The Sick And Occasionally Raise The Dead, Is To Put Bourbon In It.

"have You Done Your Homework?" My Mother Would Ask. "i'll Do It Later." "you Will Do It Now, Young Man. I Don't Want You Winding Up On The Third Shift At Flagg-utica." Flagg-utica Was A Local Textile Plant. Somehow, I Never Could Figure How Failing To Read Three Chapters In My Geography Book About The Various Sorts Of Vegetation To Be Found In A Tropical Rain Forest Had Anything To Do With Facing A Life As A Mill Hand. But With Enough Guilt And Fear As Catalysts, You Can Read Anything, Even Geography Books And Deuteronomy.